In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, which Catholics also call Confession or Penance, you tell a priest your sins, say you are sorry, receive a penance, and hear the prayer of forgiveness. If you want to go this week, look up your parish confession times, take a few quiet minutes to think back since your last confession, and go.
If it has been months or years, don't worry. Tell the priest at the start and he will guide you. You don't need a perfect script, just an honest heart.
What happens during Reconciliation
Every parish does it a little differently, but the steps are almost always the same. Here is what to expect and what to say:
- The priest welcomes you. You begin with the Sign of the Cross. The priest might say a short blessing or read a few lines from the Bible.
- You say how long it has been. A simple start is enough: “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. My last confession was about six months ago.” If you don't remember, just say so.
- You confess your sins. Say them clearly and simply, without extra detail. If you are not sure how to go on, ask the priest to help you. When you finish, you can say: “For these and all my sins, I am sorry.”
- The priest gives you advice. He might ask you a question, help you see a pattern, or suggest one practical step to change.
- You receive a penance. It might be a prayer, a kind act for someone, or something that helps repair the harm you caused.
- You tell God you are sorry. You pray the Act of Contrition, or say sorry in the words the priest gives you. A common short version begins: “My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.”
- The priest gives absolution. Listen as he prays the words of forgiveness. They end: “I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” This is the moment God forgives your sins. You can make the Sign of the Cross as you answer: “Amen.”
- You go in peace. Do your penance soon, and make right anything you need to repair or pay back.
Prepare with an examination of conscience
An examination of conscience simply means looking back, in prayer, at your choices since your last confession. You are not trying to make a perfect list or to make yourself more anxious. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you be honest. Then think about your days. Where did you fail to love God or the people around you, in what you thought, said, or did, or in the good you did not do?
Here is an easy way to prepare:
- Find a quiet moment before your parish's confession time.
- Pray for light, honesty, sorrow, and trust in God's mercy.
- Look back at the time since your last confession using the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes, and your daily duties. Ask yourself simple questions: Did I make time for God and Sunday Mass? Did I lie, gossip, or hurt someone with my words? Did I treat my family with patience? Was I honest at work and with money?
- Write a short private list if it helps you remember.
- Ask God for the grace to avoid sin and to repair any harm.
If reading the Bible helps you prepare, pick a Catholic edition and read a short passage slowly. Our guide to choosing a Catholic Bible shows you how to find a good one in English or Spanish.
What to confess
Confess the serious sins you remember after looking back carefully. Say what kind of sin it was and about how many times, as best you can. You can also confess smaller, everyday sins, called venial sins. Be honest about the serious sins you know. If you are not sure about something, just say so.
Forgetting a sin is not the same as hiding it. If you honestly forget something and remember it later, bring it to your next confession and follow what the priest tells you. If you don't know whether something was a sin, or how serious it was, describe what happened in a few words and ask.
The priest is there to help, especially if you feel anxious or unsure, or you are coming back after a long time. If you worry so much that every choice feels like a sin, tell the priest. It helps to go to the same priest regularly so he can guide you. This sacrament is meant to help you change and find peace, not to keep you blaming yourself forever.
What contrition, absolution, and penance mean
What you bring to Confession is simple: real sorrow, an honest confession, and doing your penance.
Contrition
Contrition means being sorry for your sins and wanting to turn away from them. You might cry, feel very little, or simply feel relief. All of that is okay. What matters is not a feeling, but an honest wish to come back to God and change your life.
Here is the full Act of Contrition many parishes use: “My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Savior Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy.” If you learned one in Spanish, like “Señor mío Jesucristo, Dios y hombre verdadero”, you can pray that one.
Absolution
Absolution is the prayer of forgiveness the priest says over you at the end. When he says it, God forgives your sins. If you have a serious sin on your heart, this is the normal way to be forgiven: tell it to a priest and hear these words.
Penance
Your penance is not a price you pay for forgiveness. It is your response to God's mercy and a step toward healing. Do it soon. If you don't understand it, or you can't do it, ask the priest before you leave.
Return after a long time away
You can come back without knowing every prayer or remembering every date. Check your parish schedule: some parishes offer Confession at set times each week, others by appointment, and some during a group service where each person still confesses one on one. If you feel more at home in Spanish, call the parish office and ask when a priest hears confessions in Spanish. If yours does not offer it, a nearby parish may.
At the start, just say: “It has been several years, and I need help.” That one sentence tells the priest what he needs to know. He can walk you through each step, give you the Act of Contrition, and help you make a good confession without telling your whole life story.
If you have a complicated marriage situation, a question about Church law, or you are not sure whether you can receive Communion, ask a priest for a separate appointment. That way you both have enough time, and nobody waiting in line is held up.
Confession is not a performance. It is a real meeting with God's mercy and a chance to begin again.
Help a child prepare for First Reconciliation
Children usually make their First Reconciliation before their First Communion. You help them most by showing them at home what it looks like to trust, to own up to mistakes, and to make things right. Talk about Confession as a gift, not a punishment, and let your child keep what they tell the priest private.
Practice the steps together in simple words: the priest welcomes you, you say your sins, he gives advice, you get a penance, you say sorry, and God forgives you through the priest. Remind your child that the priest is there to help. Our First Communion planning guide for parents shows how this sacrament fits into getting ready for First Communion.
Why the sacrament has several names
You will hear different names for the same sacrament. Each one points to a part of what happens:
- Reconciliation means making peace with God and with the Church again.
- Confession means telling your sins honestly to a priest.
- Penance means turning your life around and repairing the harm done.
- Forgiveness means the pardon God gives you through the priest's absolution.
- Conversion means coming back home to God the Father.
Whatever name you hear at your parish, it is the same sacrament: you tell your sins to a priest and receive God's forgiveness.
For Confession and the road to First Communion
A rosary for daily prayer, a Catholic Bible to prepare at home and First Communion sets for the next step.
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Common questions about Reconciliation
Is Reconciliation the same as Confession?
Yes. Reconciliation, Confession, and Penance are all names for the same sacrament. Each name just highlights a different part of coming back to God and being forgiven.
What if I do not remember the Act of Contrition?
Just tell the priest. A short version begins: “My God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart.” Many confessionals have the prayer printed, and the priest can help you say you are sorry. Forgetting the words does not keep you from going to Confession.
Can I bring a written list?
Yes. A short list can help you remember. Keep it brief and private, and tear it up afterward.
What if I become nervous or cry?
That's okay. Pause, take a breath, and tell the priest you are nervous. If your parish offers both, you can confess face to face or behind a screen, so choose whatever helps you speak honestly.
How often should a Catholic go to Confession?
Go at least once a year if you have a serious sin to confess. If you know you have committed a serious sin, go to Confession before you receive Communion again. If there is a serious reason and no chance to confess first, talk to a priest about what to do. Going regularly, even for small sins, is a good habit too: it brings you peace and helps you grow closer to God.
Sources
- Catechism of the Catholic Church: what this sacrament is called
- Catechism of the Catholic Church: the celebration of the sacrament of Penance
- Catechism of the Catholic Church: the acts of the penitent
- Code of Canon Law: the sacrament of penance
- Guide to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (hosted by the USCCB)